In my newsletter a couple of weeks ago I mentioned I’d started a Substack newsletter called In All Earnesty, and today I finally published my first post! I’m publishing it here too, as I have yet to transfer you all over, and also I want this to serve as a bridge from here to there. I’ll definitely keep this blog active, as it’s my baby, but if you want to be where the majority of activity is… you can find me over on Substack. As always, thank you so much for your support- I’ll never be able to fully express how much it has meant and continues to mean to me. I’m very excited to introduce you to this new adventure, so…without further adieu, here’s my first post on In All Earnesty (which you can also read/subscribe to here):
I’ve wanted to feel like I was part of a greater conversation for a long time now, but never really knew how to be. Never really figured out where exactly I fit in amongst it all. Or what I even wanted to say, really. But I feel a shift happening, one in which I’m starting to figure these things out. For one, I’ve discovered Substack. Something I like to call social media for writers and readers, and something I’ve discovered to be so much more than that- a real community that I’m excited to become a part of. Somewhere I think I might fit into the conversation.
And two, I’ve figured out what I’d like to say. I’d been hearing the word earnest more often than usual (which was pretty much never), a word that I’d heard before but never given much thought to, but suddenly felt compelled to pay it more attention. A word that means to be “serious and zealous in effort, purpose and intention.” Or a person who is “very serious and sincere in what they say or do, because they think that their actions and beliefs are important.” And those ring true for me in the context of what I’d like to talk about here. I still can’t pin myself to just one niche, but I’m now of the mind that pinning myself to the way I talk about different topics is niching enough. I just want to write about things I care about, with honesty, earnestly… hence the word I made up: “earnesty.” (no, you’re not crazy, it absolutely is not a real word). And the name for this newsletter (and finally figuring out what the hell I wanted to say) was born.
So, if you’re in the mood to dig deeper, feel connected, and are inspired to create positive change, within and outside yourself, then this is the place for you. In All Earnesty is a space to talk about the things we care about, the things we hold close to our hearts. For me, those are primarily animal welfare, grief and infertility. Glennon Doyle says that if you’re looking for your purpose, think about what makes you angry, and go there. That is your purpose. So this is my attempt to ignite change in the things I feel purposeful in (aka angry about). I want to make this world a better place to be for everyone, animals included. I want to let go of old ideas of what it means to be “cool” and remind people that it’s cool to care. It’s cool to care about how we show up in the world and how that affects those around us.
As many of you know, my Dad passed away of cancer 5 years ago, and it snapped me wide awake and made me realize just how unjust this world can be. How much hurt there is, and how the voiceless beings of this world are the ones who suffer for it most, often with zero protection or repercussion.
And now, my current journey through infertility has deepened this realization, but it’s complicated it, too. I’m now part of a small (but mighty) community who struggles so hard just to try and “keep up.” We move through life with a constant and relentless undercurrent of sadness in our hearts, with the realization that we may never be able to do this huge thing that means so much to us and that we thought was a given, a birthright. We ride an intense and seemingly never-ending rollercoaster of emotions, spend exorbitant amounts of money, and all too often lose bonds with loved ones that we used to cherish because they just. don’t. understand. And all for just the chance to grow our families. It’s one of the most vulnerable things you can do- to wear your heart on your sleeve, admit what you hope for, and go after it with all you’ve got, with absolutely zero guarantee you’ll get it.
And to feel that vulnerable, to feel that much like an outcast, has made me feel just that much more empathy for others who feel left behind, or forgotten about, too. And that’s why it’s complicated things for me, because for the last 3 years I’ve mostly stayed away from meat and other animal products, because I hated the idea that a living being would have to die or live a terrible existence, in order for me to have a certain item on my plate that I’d devour in a matter of minutes and likely never think of again. But now, going through infertility, I’ve been advised to reintroduce some of these items back into my diet. In my mind, it’s like I’m being asked to support the exploitation or killing of another living being so that I can care for myself and my children, and even as I type this I understand that doesn’t sound all that crazy, but it still makes me sad. Especially when the dairy industry treats mothers so horribly- impregnating them forcefully, only to take their babies away the moment they’re born so that we can pasteurize and package the milk meant to nourish their children and instead drop it on a shelf for $3.99 and guzzle it down ourselves. Seems pretty hypocritical, doesn’t it?
I guess the biggest problem I have is with the idea that human life is so much more valuable than the life of an animal. Why is that such an accepted idea? And this has nothing to do with becoming vegan or anything like that- it’s that ancient civilizations had so much more respect for the animal that’s life was sacrificed so that they could nourish themselves. They knew where their food came from and used all parts of an animal so as not to waste. But there’s no connection like that now. Slabs of flesh sit saran wrapped on grocery store shelves, priced by weight, for people to go home and prepare however they like, with no real acknowledgement or gratitude for where it came from. Who that cow or chicken was, or what their lives were like. Were they scared before they died? Did they feel loved while they lived?
These are the kinds of things I think about when it comes to the animal industry, and it’s also made me think about, if I have the opportunity, how I’ll handle the diets of my children. I don’t want to try to convince anyone not to eat something they want to eat (what a personal decision that is to try and force upon someone) but I do want to encourage all of us to think more about the real story behind our food. To aim primarily to source our consumption from places in which we are sure that the story is not rooted in brutality, suffering and fear.
I believe that if we all just knew a little bit more of what the animal industry tries so tirelessly to hide from us, we’d do more to change our ways. To change the current status quo around what’s acceptable for the treatment of animals, and get us to think more about how we treat all living beings, too. To think about why the world and this industry has gotten to this point, and what it would really take to change it. Gandhi said, “The greatness of a nation and it’s moral progress can be judged by the way it’s animals are treated.” And that doesn’t just mean dogs and cats, it means sheep, cows, pigs, chickens and all other animals, too. If all animals are treated humanely, it means that society as a whole is healthy, that all of our basic needs have been met. Hurt people hurt people, and they hurt animals too. So really, how we change animal welfare is by changing how we show up in the world for ourselves and everyone around us. If everyone’s basic needs could be met in society, we’d have the bandwidth to ensure the same was true for each other too- including animals.
And so my goal here is to inform on different issues to inspire that change, and start more conversations based in hope and acceptance, about how to go about it. Perfection is a subjective idea that we will never attain, for ourselves or others, but what we can do is reflect on our intentions and grow more connected with the world around us, how we show up in it, and how we consume it. An amazing quote I read the other day said, “Our goal is to have kind consideration for all sentient beings every moment forever.” And that sums it up perfectly.
This life can be so hard, and if what I write in this newsletter helps it feel a little less so for even just one person (or animal), then that’ll be enough. And I want to do it wholeheartedly, sincerely, honestly… earnestly. I want to embrace a little cringe in my life, get vulnerable and connect with real people about real things in real ways. At this time in my life I feel strongly that this is my purpose. This is how I fit into the conversation and what I want to say in it. And I hope that you’ll stick around and find purpose in it too. It’s cool to care, so let’s care together.
I hope you enjoyed this post and I can’t wait to catch you over on Substack very soon! Thank you again so very much for being here and going on this journey with me 🙂
If you want to hang here a bit longer, it might be fun to check out my very first post ever, over 3 years ago: Hello There!