Okay so one of you suggested the topic “How not to stress the F out” quite some time ago, but I hadn’t written anything on it because, quite frankly, I really didn’t feel qualified. For one, I wasn’t working at the time, so I didn’t actually feel all that stressed. Plus, when I did feel stressed I didn’t know how to cope with it myself. In a weird way, last year I almost missed being stressed- that feeling of momentum and things moving quickly and getting caught up in the current of it all. I spent most of last year in my own little cocoon. I had the luxury of waking up, going to bed, and really doing almost anything I wanted at any time I wanted. But let me tell you.. that in itself can be a stressor.
I know when you’re busy all you want to do is not be busy, but I can tell you, from experience, that when you’re not busy and have all the freedom in the world, you miss the rush. I didn’t feel like I was really a part of the world- everything was moving forward without me. I’d look out the window and see cars driving, people talking, birds flying, the seasons changing.. like everyone else knew what to do with their lives but me.
Luckily I did have this blog to keep me on some kind of schedule- I love a good routine! I still made sure to go to bed and wake up at a decent time, but then I’d wake up and have to make up my day as I went. And not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I like structure and all this freedom wasn’t for me. But that’s what starting over feels like, right? You have to start from ground zero and establish yourself in this new you you’re creating, and time and experience help move the process along.
And now, looking back, I understand it’s exactly what I needed. It was preparing me for now, for this season of being busy again. I still love writing this blog, but now I’ve also found and gotten into another passion of mine- wedding planning. After planning my own wedding, I wanted to help do that for others, and (selfishly) I couldn’t think of a better job than one that makes you a part of such magical moments in people’s lives. There’s a lot of bad in the world, but there’s also so much good- and I get front row access more often than most.
But now things are getting busier, and, after a year of hibernation, it can feel a little overwhelming at times. “Am I capable of managing all of this?” “Am I really meant for this?” All sorts of insecure thoughts have begun popping up, but I’m managing and moving forward anyway. Which means that I finally feel qualified to share my tips on how to not stress the F out:
Don’t attach to the negative thoughts
It’s normal for negative self-talk to pop up when you’re in a learning curve, but the difference in how you let it affect you is whether you attach to it or not. Recognize those thoughts for what they are- a way to protect you from the unknown. And remember that no growth has ever happened without going there first- you must learn the things you do not know in order to do the things you’ve never done.
Freezing in times of stress is also a tempting idea- just dropping it all and binging a show sounds much better instead. But that won’t get you any closer to where you want to go, or make you any better at what you’re trying to do. Sometimes you’ve gotta go into autopilot and just get it done- the more you commit to that the better you’ll get at sticking with it.
Ask questions/Ask for help
Try not to get too hung up on the little details or things you’re unsure of. It’s okay to not know everything- utilize your resources. Same goes for when you have too much on your plate- we were not meant to do it all alone. Delegate what you can, whether it’s work or personal related.
Celebrate the victories
Whether it’s big or small, the good stuff is worth celebrating! Whether you learned something new or landed your dream job, don’t forget that none of it is worth it unless you remember to enjoy it. Combat the stress by having fun and creating happy memories, even when you’re overwhelmed.
I think that the main thing to remember when you’re caught up in stress and all the things you have to do, is that life will never be different. Yes, there will be times with more stress than others, but there will always be SOMETHING to stress about. I think that’s the real challenge of being alive- wanting to control it all and manage it into something we can handle forever, but having that expectation will only set us up for failure.
Just like we must practice the things that stress us out in order to get better at them, we must do the same with how we handle stress. If you’re stressed, it probably means that you’re working hard to pursue your dreams and grow into the person you’re becoming- that’s a good thing! Reframing it this way can make stress feel a whole lot different. Ultimately, you just have to let go- trust that it will all work out. And remember that you are not alone- we ALL feel this way from time to time, but if we’ve done it before and made it this far, we can do it again (and again, and again… and again).
And, in moments when that doesn’t work, just have a little wine (or mocktail) and relax. Cause we deserve that too 😉
How do you handle stress? What tips do you have to not stress the F out?
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and We Get to do This.