I wrote this post last week when I was feeling less than inspired, and it honestly came out as complete and utter bullshit. Sometimes that happens. Writing doesn’t just happen on demand, it has to come from a genuine place and feel inspired. I originally wanted to share about the changes I plan to make in my daily routine so I feel like a more productive person, because last year I didn’t feel that way at all. I think we all fall into ruts in life, where there’s something, or a few things, holding us back from the things that are really important to us. And I want to feel that, instead of this post just giving you some bullet points on how to wake up earlier or hold yourself accountable to work out, that it actually helps you feel inspired to do those things.
I think the knowledge lies within all of us of what it is we truly want, yet our brains get in the way and keep us from accomplishing it a lot of the time. Last year was a really strange year- as I know it was for most (all) of us. For us, Covid was still new, Dan was working evenings, and we lived somewhere we barely knew anyone. I spent a lot of last summer alone. I’d stay up late and wake up late, and always felt like I was falling behind or wasn’t doing enough. I did go on walks to watch the sunset with Remi and stuck to a pretty structured workout routine, but the motivation behind it just wasn’t there. It felt like I was going through the motions and didn’t have much purpose.
Man that sounds depressing lol but it’s honest. I was okay, really, I just felt uninspired and a bit lost- which is the root of all that is holding you back. And the greatest way to combat this feeling is to spend time doing something you love. Maybe you don’t really know what that thing is yet, and that’s okay. Try different things and see what speaks to you. But make sure it’s something that really feeds your soul. Not reality TV or social media. More like getting out in nature, reading a good book, journaling or listening to a podcast. Anything that leaves you feeling better than before you started it. I didn’t do that enough last summer and I really suffered for it. As soon as I began doing some of the things I mentioned above, my anxiety lessened and I felt more at peace. I felt more motivated to do other things I loved and was inspired to better myself.
Doing these things helps so much because it leads you to your “why,” which is the most crucial piece of the puzzle. What is the point of you doing any of this if you don’t have a reason? The nice thing is you don’t have to put a lot of pressure on this part (none of this should really feel pressured at all). Your why can be whatever it is you think of and pull inspiration from. Toward the end of last year, my reason became myself. I have been on this constant journey of healing ever since my Dad became sick, and for most of it I was just trying to distract and stay afloat. But last year I finally got a chance to slow down and not feel guilty for it. I spent so much time with myself and finally got to learn more about the new me. I am not the same person I used to be, but I like this version of myself more. Finding that new love and understanding helped me feel more purposeful in my days again. No, I wasn’t finding that purpose in running around like a crazy person doing things for other people, I was finding it in how good I felt in everything I did for me.
I guess my main message here is that, if you’re currently pressuring yourself to stick to a new routine you came up with in order to feel good, just remember that it’s not going to work unless you are inspired from within. You have to do it for you and your “why,” not just to fit into some box that you think everyone expects you to be in. The truth is we don’t see the behind-the-scenes of anyone’s life. We all struggle to stick to schedules and beat ourselves up when we aren’t able to. What if instead, we allowed our routines to change from week to week, day to day? Life’s natural rhythm does not work in such strict terms, so why should we? We are going to feel different every single day, and we have to be able to listen to that and decide what our next move is based on where our energy will be best spent in that moment.
Kind of like writing. If you do it from a place of just needing to get it done, then it’s going to fall flat and feel meaningless. But if you listen to yourself and follow your rhythm, then perhaps you will feel more flow. You’ll stop fighting against it all, and have more energy to give to what’s right in front of you.
While we may desperately seek routine, perhaps it’s not so bad to fall out of one. Sure, they provide structure, but they can also cause stagnancy. Newness in our days helps us see new perspectives, follow different paths and hopefully guide us to truer versions of ourselves. The in between can sure be nice with a little routine sprinkled in, but if we want to grow we must rise to the occasion when change inevitably comes our way. I think with this mindset, a routine that really works for you, and meets you where you are in life, will naturally follow. And what better kind of routine, than one that feels genuine and true to you? One that you wake up and are excited to move through- that’s the dream right there.
If you’re anything like me (a control freak planner), then this post probably isn’t the perfect answer you were hoping for lol but I do hope it helps you on your journey and in being kinder to yourself when things don’t go as planned. When did you last feel out of sorts and in need of routine? What did you find that helped?