I woke up this morning in a great mood, ready for a productive day. Then, out of what seemed to be nowhere, a thought popped into my mind. An invasive, unwelcome thought, about how I’m not good enough. Not good enough to finish my workout, not good enough to get all the things off my to-do list, not good enough to make my biggest goals a reality. These feelings also stem from unworthiness- who am I to be doing all of this and what does it matter, really?
Sound familiar?? Our lovely brains just love to work overtime, and, if we aren’t careful, that train can get derailed real quick.
I know this is a common human experience, one most of us would rather not, and rarely do, share. But I think it’s important to acknowledge that we all experience this feeling to some degree. Some more than others, sure, but we all do nonetheless. And with this knowledge, we can hopefully find understanding that we are not alone in this feeling, and that even those who we think have it all together and never have moments of self-doubt, in fact, do. And if they’ve been able to break past those limiting beliefs, then so can we.
So, when this thought does spring up on us, what is there to do? Well, luckily, there are lots of ways to curtail it. Not avoid or get rid of it all together (because that would just be us living in complete denial), but to be able to see it for what it is- a road block based in falsehoods. Keep in mind however, that, unfortunately, though there are many things we can do, it is likely that in these moments of self-loathing that you will want nothing to do with any of it and rather just stay in bed binge-watching your favorite reality TV show or something else completely unproductive. It’s tempting, I know. In these moments, we can simply begin by being honest with ourselves.
The moment you pause the endless chatter in your mind and analyze it from an outsider’s perspective, you are immediately able to disconnect yourself from the idea of those thoughts as your reality. You can look at them as though someone else were speaking them to you, and determine how you feel about it in that scenario. I’m assuming that, when your mind is running down a self-deprecating rabbit hole, that you wouldn’t like your inner dialogue much. And you certainly wouldn’t like it if someone else were saying all of those things to you. Would you say those things to anyone else? If you’re a nice person, then probably not. So why do we do this to ourselves?? We are our own toughest critic, but those thoughts are not based in any kind of truth. In fact, it’s simply our brain doing its job. Trying to keep up safe.
Once we are able to see these thoughts objectively, they suddenly feel a little less heavy. No, they won’t go away immediately, but that’s okay. You’ve at least prevented them from becoming all-consuming. At this point, the best thing to do is something to get you out of your head and into the present moment. Change your scenery, your activity, the vibe- whatever it is that works for you. Turn on some music and dance. Go for a walk. Get a good workout in. Read a book. Go out in nature and breathe. Meditate. Journal. One really amazing thing you can do is look at yourself in the mirror and smile. I know that sounds SUPER weird, but how often do we really give ourselves that kind of attention in the mirror? Normally we just use that time to criticize ourselves, so why not make it a more uplifting experience? Smile at yourself and tell yourself what a beautiful, capable bitch you really are. It makes a difference!
See what I mean? There’s a million things you can do to get out of this rut of not believing in yourself, we just have to get ourselves in motion. It is so incredibly difficult to go through an entire day with this kind of negative self-talk and really get anything done. At least not efficiently or effectively. Self-doubt is the root of all evil (at least I think it is) and it should not be given any more time and energy than it deserves. You are not your thoughts, and you do not have to identify with them.
Negative thoughts about yourself really just come from the outside world. Our society constantly telling us we’re not good enough. And we don’t have to listen to any of it. My best advice, that I’ve found to be helpful, is to begin your day in a way that makes you feel inspired and loving toward yourself. This way you can hopefully keep those unwanted thoughts at bay, and keep doing the things you love that reinforce your trust in yourself and your abilities. Start the day with 5 minutes of meditation, read, or write in a journal. Hell, do it all if that’s what does it for you! Anything that allows you to set an intention for the day and puts you in a positive space.
You have so much magic to offer the world, you just have to get out of your own way. And, the comforting thing to remember is that, even if you do fail once or twice (or even more than that) you can look yourself in the eyes at the end of the day and know that you are trying. And that’s more than most people can say. You are living in your truest form, doing what makes you happy, and sharing that beauty with the world. And that’s pretty damn cool if you ask me.
Now go on, you beautiful, capable b*tch!
When was the last time you were feeling down? What did you do to get out of it? Would love to hear your thoughts and stories!
If you enjoyed this post, you might also like: How to Build Trust in Yourself.