Every bride goes into wedding planning with a thousand things on their mind that could go wrong. They give attention to every single minute detail because they can’t stand the idea of anything not being absolutely perfect. I mean, this is a once in a lifetime thing, right? (At least we all hope it will be!) What I don’t think is included on many of these mental lists of potential mayhem is a pandemic occurring. At least, it certainly wasn’t on mine.
I went into 2020 as blissful as a bride can be; overwhelmed only by the typical never-ending lists of to-do’s. I had read about Covid and had even told my mom over the phone one night that I hoped it wouldn’t affect our wedding, but never in my wildest dreams did I think it really would. I know some brides decided to go through with their weddings, and to each their own, but for the location and size of our wedding it just didn’t make sense. Plus, the whole point of our wedding was to finally celebrate with all our family and friends, since we were already married.
I do feel lucky that we had been able to get married in 2018 and enjoy a small intimate ceremony with close friends and family because I think this took a lot of pressure off of us when making the decision to postpone- it seemed like a no brainer. I can imagine the emotions behind this decision being much greater without the comfort of knowing that person is already legally bound to you (lol). Our venue was also on government land in San Diego, so we had no choice but to abide by whatever the restrictions were at that point in time. And, with everything changing every 2 seconds or less, it was STRESSFUL. Once we had officially changed the date and had all our vendors on board, I felt like celebrating.
I know we all felt like celebrating when 2020 was finally over, but, as I am really realizing now, things have not (unfortunately) magically changed overnight. This means that all us 2020 brides out there, and now all of the 2021 brides too, have a great deal of things to think about and consider. Here are some tips I have come up with, to help organize your plan and manage the stress.
- This is no time to be bridezilla. In fact, the more flexible you can be with your planning, the more support you will receive from those around you. It will actually make you feel really good about yourself because everyone will commend you on your ability to get through the present situation with grace and strength (who knew this chick could so cool and unbothered?! ..Not me!).
- Remember that everything happens for a reason. Try to see the positives in this situation- to be perfectly honest, there are a LOT. Not only do you have extra time to be excited for your big day, but you also have extra time to plan and make it perfect, as well as save your $$. Who knows, maybe you’ll be ready to buy a home or go on that dream trip earlier than you had previously thought. You also will have more time to add personal details into your big day, which will make it all the more special. I know it’s never fun to wait- for anything- BUT if you can just be patient you’ll realize time is going to go by faster than you think, and before you know it- it’ll be your wedding day! And ooh how much sweeter that day will be.
- With an open mind and a level of acceptance that plans may change, you can start to form a game plan, should you need to take action. If you haven’t already sent out your save the dates/invites, I would highly recommend making note on them of your plans. Whether it be that you plan to move forward regardless, or that you will keep everyone updated and notify by a certain date through a certain medium (plus on your wedding website of course!) if you do think you might postpone, all of this information is extremely helpful to your guests. They will appreciate the notice and be able to grow excited for your big day, knowing they’re somewhat involved in the planning and surprises will be kept to a minimum.
- If you do end up deciding (or being forced to) postpone, don’t panic! Hopefully you have chosen vendors not only by their talents, but also by your compatibility with them. If not, this still goes for you too, and hopefully you aren’t working with complete assholes. First thing I would recommend is to reach out as early as possible, once you even start THINKING that postponing might be the way to go. Reach out to your venue first and ask them for available future dates. Pick whatever you are most comfortable with (that’s as far in the future as you can make it) and then reach out to the rest of your vendors to let them know you’re thinking of postponing and ask them if that date will work. Ask everyone to put that date on hold, and, so long as everyone is on board (or you’re willing to let go of any that aren’t), once you officially have made the call to postpone, the rest will be easy! Or easier, at least. You’ll just need to reach out to your vendors to confirm the date change and, if it’ll make you feel more comfortable, ask for a new contract showing the new date (although I am fairly certain written confirmation through email is also legally binding- a “virtual handshake”). This worked really well for us and, as I said before, I was ready to celebrate once everything had been finalized.
Planning a wedding is stressful enough, but basically having to plan multiple weddings and keep strong communication going between 50+ family and friends you don’t regularly talk to, can be maddening. My best advice is to roll with it and be grateful for what you can. After all, this is a pretty great problem to have! You have a partner who not only loves you enough to put up with your crazy ass forever, but also wants to commit to doing so in front of a shit ton of people. Congratulations- that is amazing! The only question left is when- and if we can find it in ourselves to practice patience and release control, I think we’ll find that the process really isn’t so bad, because the reward will just be that much sweeter.
What wedding planning advice/tips do you have to share? Any Covid brides here who can relate? Would love to hear your stories and what you did to make it all work!